“Shatamanam Bhavati” or a perfect photo-op

Recently there was a big furor over a mundane menu card on Twitter. Rocky & Mayur the foodies handle tweeted a photo of what looked like a Masal Vada calling it a Medu Vada. Those who knew the difference called it out. But the television hosts were a bit belligerent to either enquire into the truth or take it as correct if they believed the so called Tamilians who suspected were behind the onslaught to know the truth.

But, it dragged on for days, and the first aggressive assault came from the foodies handle, asking if Tamil culture is all lost if a Masal Vadu is to be called Medu Vada. What is there in the name as long as one got the taste right? Well, that is not the issue. The issue is if food is part of one’s culture or  not? Madarasi might call it Masal Vadai, Malayali might call them paruppu vadas, they may be different things to different people. Yet, to each of them it might part of their cultural identity.

Similar fight erupted last week over a magazine cover depicting probably a Tamil Bride, or a model posing as a Tamil Bride, all decked up, sporting a Kanjivaram silk with a slit wide open from the thighs. Again who cares right if a Tamil bride wears a Kanjivaram saree or a bikini. Each one and their individual rights to adorn whatever they think appropriate? Again a battle broke over this. The matter might have ended quietly but for few who went to great heights to appreciate the art of photography, décor, composition etc and a few absolutely in love with the cover. Pitted against them were the ones who thought it was inappropriate for a bride to be dressed like that, and that it in no way was representative of Tamil culture. Yet again the die heard liberals wanted to know if Tamil culture was so flimsy to lie in covering the legs of a bride fully in a saree.

It went on to the level of those who were in support of the cover going even to great lengths calling the brave girl on the cover of the magazine, “Bharati kanda pudumai pen” the fearless new age woman Poet Subramaniya Bharati had dreamt of. That got my goat, to drag my favourite poet to defend a stupid piece of publicity.

Food is not culture, dress is not culture, the language one speaks is not representative of culture, religious symbols are not culture, then what else is culture? That in my sub conscious lies an idea that I am a Tamilian whose ancestors once spoke a language called Tamil, ate idlis and idiappams, wore veshti and pudavais, sported vibhuti and kumkumam on their foreheads but I would not bring any of those symbols in to my life because they are not culture. Can I carry the sub conscious idea of an abstract piece called cultural identity to my next generation?

If a bride is expected to fully cover herself in a saree immediately you will summon patriarchy, misogyny and all those popular feminist tags. Fortunately there was no shedding of the blouse as a colonial, Victorian oppressive behavior in dressing of South Indian women.

To the specifics of the cover – the magazine seems to be a wedding focused one and it even mentions culture in the context of south Asia. It has put on cover a lady dressed mostly like a Tamil bride seated with the slit showing off the shapely legs. What is wrong if she is showing off legs? Nothing wrong if it was a fashion magazine just showcasing a good looking woman or a beautiful saree. But, here it is a bride. The kind of photos the social media, mainstream media puts out do have an impact on what is happening at our weddings.

Patriarchy one may scream if a fully draped bride is expected. Marriage itself is an oppressive patriarchal scheme some may scream. I will skip the second and stay with the first part and just the costume. First of all in the way Tamil weddings are designed it may not be practical to sit showing off the leg through slit in sarees. Because seated on the floor or seated on the father’s lap as it happens during Mangalyadaranam in some communities the leg showing may not be possible. Imagine for a moment, being seated on a father’s lap, surrounded by the Pandits and the elderly showing off the leg. If it sounds and looks appropriate, fine let it be, someone can try that out.

Many times during the wedding the bride and the groom prostrate on the floor, especially after the wedding seeking blessings of the elders. In what way does one dress up to be able to do it? Is that a necessary thing? I feel to be blessed by the elders, either relatives or friends was a very important part of our weddings. That is why even the “gift” giving was called “asirvadam”. The maternal uncle is the first one who should bless the newly weds, to be followed by others. What is the asirvadam given?

Shathamanam bhavathi

shatayuH puruSh aH shatendriyaH

aayuShyevendriye- pratitiShThati

Should there be a display of humility in accepting the asirvadam? Does dress have a role in that? I believe it does. After the mangalyadaranam and panigrahanam there are garlands that come from various temples as blessings from the deities, be it of one’s kula deivam temples, or the favourite deities etc. What grace should one show in accepting them? Are those blessings more important or the pose, and poise for a perfect photo that might go up on Instagram bringing in a million likes?

If symbols like sarees or food don’t represent culture what else would? Look at what happened even when religions that came from outside when it converted the practitioners of Sanata Dharma into their fold -  quietly retained or slowly started using the native symbols. Tamil Christian and Muslim brides wear Thalis (mangalsutra), Churches in Kerala have Kuthuvilakku and Kodimarams. I will wear my culture on my sleeve, for I fear if I hide it in my heart it might take just a generation to lose them. Those of you who have stayed till the end, would request to read this along with my earlier blog ‘Saundarya as Saubhagya’.

Pic credit: from the internet